SMART Recovery

The SMART Recovery meeting was awesome. I didn't have to hold anybody's hand or say the Lord's Prayer, or argue about my beliefs with anybody.

The goals are realistic and matter of fact, and I gained more tools from that one meeting than I've gained at ten AA meetings. Tell me how to retrain my brain and I'll do it. Tell me to give my will over to some nebulous idea? Scary. I'll definitely be back next Saturday and I'll probably attend the Friday meeting in Lakeview as well.

Funny: the facilitator is this guy that's looked at dating profile a few times. Hahahaa. I changed my status on that thing to single but only looking for friends and activity partners. As lonely as I am, I know not to start up a new relationship right now in the midst of recovery. Every time I go through a not-dating spell, I also learn a lot about myself, even though I am usually drinking more. I can't begin to imagine how much I'll learn about myself sober. And anyway, most of my loneliness is derived from the grieving process related to the end of something I really wanted to work. I need to be more exact in identifying those feelings. Am I really that lonely? Maybe not. (Although today I really would like something/someone to do something with...)

Back to feeling hopeful.