I'm so tired today. I went to bed around 11:30 pm but I still wasn't asleep by 1 am, so I took half of a Trazodone that's prescribed to me for sleep. I still couldn't fall asleep though, because my allergies have had my sinuses all swollen, so I couldn't breathe and I hate sleeping with my mouth open. So I took half a dose of night time cold medicine that has an antihistamine and I took an ibuprofen, both of which are anti-inflammatory agents. Well, I fell asleep finally, but I woke up around 3:30 hallucinating. It was scary as shit. I thought maybe I had a fever, because it was the sort of stuff I see when I have a high fever (that's the only time I've ever hallucinated, is when I've got a high temp - I've never even hallucinated on acid), but my body temperature was oddly low, it was 97.1 F. It's usually around 97.9 (I've never been one of those 98.6 sorts of people). I saw, sitting at my desk, a hunched over shriveled sort of figure with dreadlocks, and when I sat up to get out of bed, I saw this black cat/bat-like creature trying to get up into my lap. Fuck. I guess the combination of all the drugs I'm taking, plus the half-dose of Nyquil fucked me up, and not in a good way. Campral, Wellbutrin, Trazodone, Nyquil.
Remember that cocktail, kids, if you want to avoid waking up scared shitless of things that aren't really there. Who knows what all those things combined did to my brain chemistry. I know Campral works on the frontal lobe and helps the brain accept seretonin and dopamine, and Trazodone increases seretonin intake too. Wellbutrin causes the brain to intake more dopamine and is also known to lower the seizure threshold. I wonder if those things, along with the Nyquil gave me a seizure? Seizures (of the non gran mal type) often cause hallucinations. I'm going to bring this up to my psychiatrist. It was really fucking scary. I was also really out of it, like I was awake and dreaming at the same time... I was under the impression until I got up and moved around, that I was in my mother's house and all I had to do was tell her I was seeing things and all would be fine. It took me a second to remember that I'm an adult and I live in my own home, let alone, that I haven't seen her in years and years (except for in my dreams, like, all the time lately).
Anyway. Aside from being exhausted, today has been fine. I don't want to go to outpatient tonight. I really don't want to go. I'll go though. But first I am going to try and take a nap.
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